Thursday, September 09, 2010

Now THAT Would Be a Good Use of my Time!

It seems that I might actually be almost close to finishing the dissertation... which is exciting, because once I'm not a student any more, I'll actually be unemployed--like, that's what I'll have to put on forms and stuff. Nah--screw it, I'm just gonna put "writer." And say it out loud as I fill out the form, then look around and announce, "Yes, I am a Writer." When that gets dull, I'll start doing "Actor." And I'll really pronounce the O: ActOr.

Anyhoo, the diss is making me antsy, and I think I might be losing my grip on my social skills (as anyone whom I've assaulted with border-collie-like affection on my rare trips in public these days will surely verify), but I think I really hit on a stellar idea while updating my Facebook status and pointless Twitter account (1 person is following me! Woo! What up, Amanda?) for the 47th time last week: Time Machine! Why waste more time writing my dissertation? I'm just gonna build a time machine, go forward 3 or 4 years or so (yeah, that oughta do it), grab a copy of my diss from the library, bring it back with me, and PLAGIARIZE MYSELF! I am a genius! (Or, the guy who wrote Back to the Future 2 is genius. I am really good at this plagiarism, no?)

Seriously, people, call me. I need to talk to someone who is not by dog. Especially call me if you would like to offer me a job or produce my totally un-plagiarized screenplay.