Proverb for Paranoids:#5. Paranoids are not paranoid because they're paranoid, but because they keep putting themselves, fucking idiots, deliberately into paranoid situations.
--Thomas Pynchon,
Gravity's RainbowOh-kayyy... got a little tap on the shoulder from Big Brother yesterday. Two phone messages were waiting for me when I got home from campus. The first was a telephone message from Captain John Somethingorother from the Canadian Forces Recruiting Centre. He was looking for my elusive brother Phidit for... "a time-sensitive job offer." Second message was from Mary Beth, the lovely, wonderful English department grad secretary. Seems Captain John was calling there, looking for a graduate student: one Rebecca Babcock, sister of Philip Malanchuk, currently registered in the English department at Dalhousie University, to deliver a time-sensitive message to the aforementioned brother.
Folks, let's review the facts:
- Phidit and I have different last names.
- I have not yet notified any government agencies of my move to Nova Scotia, though I have submitted a funding application to the Social Science and Humanities Research Council.
- I was not listed in the Edmonton telephone book, so even if Phil did use my old phone number to apply, that should have led them to Trent, and not to me.
- Phil's recrtuitment application certainly did not ask him to list his sister's future place of employment.
It gets weirder. Captain John called the house today. Trent was home. The Captain wanted us to give him Phidit's phone number. He knew Phil is in Wyoming, but didn't know how to reach him there. At last, Bear jumps on the paranoia wagon with me and evades Cap Jo's questions. Cap Jo, however, asks if Phil's mother is still living in BC...
So. I'm heading to a cabin in the mountains with a sockful of money in lieu of credit cards, a pocketful of vegetable seeds and a half-dozen fertilized chicken eggs. Anyone want to come with?
(Do not post your reply to this message... we are being watched.)
